June 29th, 2020

I have been sad since the pandemic started that my phone doesn’t recognize me anymore. I have to type in my passcode, how early 2000s.

First amendment

October 3rd, 2019

The family won’t allow me to try and give away the dogs anymore. I feel there is a first amendment issue here…

A new desire

August 12th, 2019

I have given in to the need to drive a unique car. It’s a curse i have learned to live with. A disease, an eccentricity, a whimsical foible… OK suffice it to say i like unique vehicles. I now have a new unique car to desire. For years, I have relied on the quirky nature of Saab’s and how they aren’t a dime a dozen out there in the cold cruel world. Now that they are no longer, and I’ve had a number of them, I need something new to scratch the itch, something that won’t cost an arm and a leg and maybe a first born. I have found this vehicle, and one day i may or may not own one.

If you have been searching for just the right gift for my birthday or Christmas, your search is over.

It’s so hot!

August 29th, 2018

We went to the beach last week and had a good time. I really need to quit my job and become a beach bum. I just don’t want one of those tans that make the light skinned look like a dark brown alligator. I’ll be a beach bum who wears a lot of sunscreen and a shirt with high spf.

Anyway, this week has been unbearably hot, to the point that walking from the parking lot to the building drenches me in sweat. I like it warm just not so humid.

I felt the world needed to hear my whining, in case you wondered. You’re welcome.

Ancient family ice cream secret (shhhhh)

June 30th, 2017

Did you know the best way to dip ice cream is with a butter knife? No struggle or wrestling, it just works.

Try it. NOW!

Fortune cookie!

July 1st, 2013

“Maybe you can live on the moon in next century”

“From now on your kindness will lead you to success.”  Unlike before, when all it did was lead me to failure.

Overheard at Walmart

April 15th, 2013

Two completely white haired elderly men chatting near the checkout aisle:

“So, have you retired?”

“No, I can’t retire, I have a 7 year old son.”

Overheard at the grocery store

October 12th, 2012

“So, how was your mammogram?”


Favorite sermon quote

February 4th, 2012

“Look at the tiny mustard seed, which grows into the mighty oak!”

Google voice transcribing

January 26th, 2012

The voice transcription tries very hard, but it sure comes up with some funny interpretations:

From, hey, it’s me like it’s got a new infection and I was free. Dennis. So, anyway, we’re we’re waiting at giant eagle for prescription will be home things again call me know. Thanks.